Sometime during the past year I realized that I was kind of unhappy with my life. I have spent most of my adult life trying to make other people happy, and not really paying attention to what I want for myself. I found I am much too concerned with what others think, put other people’s needs and wants before my own, and often put myself on the back burner.
This is not necessarily a terrible quality to have. I have always thought (and still think) it’s an imperative human quality – to go out of our way to do things for other people and make others happy. But this year I became surprisingly aware that I wasn’t always receiving that satisfying feeling in return. This was mainly due to the fact that more and more, the people I was doing things for weren’t appreciative of my gesture. Over time, this made me a sad, unhappy and a little bitter. Those are not feelings that I want to have on a regular basis.
After months of some serious soul-searching and many long talks with my sweet husband (that usually started with me misdirecting my anger at him by lashing out abruptly – sorry, sweetie…did I mention you are the best husband ever?) I have finally pinpointed the things that I am unhappy about, and realized that I alone can change it. I control my happiness, and to become a happier person, I need to pay more attention to myself. I need to do more things that make me happy. I’ve already begun by starting this blog!
Here are some of my goals for 2012. “Resolutions”, if you will.
- Learn to say “no” and say it way more often than I’m used to. I get myself into situations that I realize I don’t want to be in. I usually take the easy way out by caving in and just agreeing to things. So I’m going to put my foot down and say “no” when I don’t want to do something. That is going to be hard, but I can do it!
- Stop being around people I don’t really want to be around. Part of the reason I was having the problem of not receiving gratitude in return when doing things for others was because I have been doing them for the wrong people. I plan on spending my time with the people in my life I want to continue to have healthy relationships with, and who truly care about me in return: my husband, my family, and my closest friends.
- Start doing more things that I really enjoy. Reading, photography, writing, blogging, and spending time with the people I love. I want to laugh more and have things to look forward to.
- Make healthier decisions that will impact my life for the long haul. I want to eat more natural foods, live a healthier lifestyle, and lay some ground work for my “golden” years. This should give me more energy and make me feel better, too!
I hope you all decide to make some “selfish” decisions in 2012, also. Take a moment to take an internal look and ask yourself if you are really happy with your life, and where your future is headed. If the answer is no, change it!
“If you want to be happy, be.”
- 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself (createyourgreatlife.wordpress.com)
- Day 2 – Happiness (365daysofhopeandinspiration.wordpress.com)
- Making New Year’s Resolutions? Ask Yourself These 6 Important Questions (psychcentral.com)